…people will whisper, like somehow we've got a secret expiration date.
Finding love again, dating over 40, after marriage, divorce and in midlife is a fascinating voyage and there's not much good advice out there.
It's just you and your wiser, stronger, truer self and the world out there. I know so much more about everything – including who I am, what I want, what and who inspires me and what and who doesn't. I like who I am, what I do, and how I make my way in the world. Now I have a list of, I don't know what - of qualities, ideals, demands, requirements, suggestions, attributes, commandments – that reflect my aspirations for the kind of man I could fall in love with, find true love with, if I were so inclined, at this stage in my life. He will understand that reading the newsprint version of the Sunday New York Times in bed is a form of prayer. Must have deliciously subversive and ecclectic musical tastes, including deep love for Nina Simone, The Clash, Pete Seeger and Prince.
Most of the midlife women I know feel this way - that we've really come into our own wisdom and confidence. I'm sharing it with you, hoping you will write your own list, or, that you know who I'm talking about and you'll have him call me. Together, we will feel a deep calm, a sense of essential rightness. He will not be one of those tall, dashingly handsome, smugalishious, master-of-the-universe types. If he were to die, his funeral would be packed with friends, family, former students and/or clients/patients, colleagues – all of whom would wait in a line snaking out the door, down the block to have the chance to say something about how much they loved him and how he had changed their lives and how the world was so much better because he was in it.
I look for interesting stories and guess what: they tend to be about people who marry in mid-life or later.