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Only a handful of dates later, and our relationship was already reliant on screens and notifications and Face Time. Lots of couples — particularly, those in college — will face time apart. Come June, no longer will they live down the hall, down the block or across town from each other. When Mc Williams wasn’t sure what the summer would look like for her and her boyfriend, she was upfront with him. Paulson abides by the advice a friend gave him once: Should you and your partner grow apart, it’s okay.
There’ll be differing time zones to consider and phone bills and Wi-Fi connections and data plans — not to mention The Big Questions: Should we stay together? And if we do, how do we keep this relationship alive? No matter what they chose to do for those summer months, she said, come September, she’d want to be with him. Let’s say you’re still confused as to whether or not you want to become exclusive with this new partner over the summer. Perhaps this will help: Imagine yourself in the fall. What would be the consequences of not staying together? Consider the vulnerability of the relationship and the amount of investment necessary in order for that relationship to grow. “You’re still new to each other and getting to know one another,” Paulson said.
Change may not mean that your relationship is doomed to fail, but it may mean that you can look forward to doing new things, talking about different subjects and looking at life differently than you have previously. There may come a period in your relationship when you feel overwhelmed by what it takes to keep your relationship together.
This may require letting your relationship go as both you and your boyfriend or girlfriend adapt to your new roles, environments and social systems.
Especially when everything is so fresh and new and vulnerable? That’s when they thought: Why don’t we just stay together? Imagine that you had stayed together over the summer; now, imagine that you hadn’t. “The relationship itself should just be about having fun and being supportive and if you’re engaging in that way, and you two aren’t tearing each other’s hair out and not losing interest, you should stay with that person.