Imagine the drivers are eager to go when the light turns green, but the traffic cop is oblivious.
What if he keeps blowing that whistle, waving his arms, insisting everyone obey his will?
They want things to be done in a certain way and in order for that to happen they try to choreograph each step of the way.
So why not just go to a club and get lost in the atmosphere, see what happened? I don’t want to get a random pill off a stranger in some dodgy toilets, but I do want to just see what happens if I…just discard the rules. See what happens if I do something daring.’I spent my days lying on the floor of his bedsit, applying for 40 jobs a day, attending interviews on the little cash the Job Centre trickled my way and getting rejected, eating poor quality, cheap food, because it was all I could afford, and wondering if it would ever get better.
The school of thought I was tapping into without realising is commonly known as the ‘F*** it’ philosophy, which has a very simple rule of thumb. Ignore what everyone is telling you and live your life the way you want to. Parkin wrote a book on this philosophy, stating that we can find real freedom by realising that things don’t matter that much – if at all. I wanted to move forward with my life, make progress, and achieve my dreams – but I also didn’t find it hard to let go when I was greeted with setbacks, rejections, and bad luck.
No matter how carefully you write your profile or messages, and even if you spend hours, days, or weeks planning the perfect date, you have no control over another person’s emotions.
Trying to rigidly control the outcome in romantic situations is likely to just make you seem rigid and controlling, which are not very attractive qualities.
The trouble with applying these life lessons to your love life is that it will stop you from really being able to relax and let things develop.