I drank the better part of a mickey of whiskey and proceeded to make out with my host. I received only short, delayed answers where before there had been boisterous banter. Women are becoming more adept at f-ckboy-spotting, and, increasingly, we are eschewing the idea of “dating” altogether.
After a healthy round of vomiting, I passed out cold on the floor of my workplace, as I had drunkenly locked myself out of my home. When I got back to Toronto, I asked him what the hell was going on. Many hetero cis women I know have even given up sex.
Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.
So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.
I’ve heard things like “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.
When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.
Is distance a legitimate reason not to commit, or is he just not that into me?